Okay, it's been a minute. I take that back, I've always kind of laughed when people said that seriously..
Anyway, I have finally forced myself to sit down and take the time to write. I must confess, many times, I will be driving home from work thinking up the most profound blog post ideas, walk through the door, and BAM- gone. My brain is awesome like that. Me and Dory from "Finding Nemo" would be the best of friends.
On to what I actually waned to write about- the ego. Not specifically the ego itself, but what experience has been teaching me about it. First of all, I have learned a lot, in oh, say, the past six months. It has begun with me being knocked on my butt as I have described in previous posts. However, now that I am slowly becoming grounded again, I am seeing a once abstract, confusing picture of my life, transform into something slightly more understandable and even more eye-opening. Many of life's circumstances are painful blessings in disguise if we will allow them to be. I will be so bold as to say that God can certainly use any situation for good. However, most of the time we are just too blind or stubborn to see it, or allow it.
I am reading a book about Abraham Lincoln. In it, it tells of Lincoln's failures and how fiercely they ate at him at times. It then tells of a period in his life that he began to come to terms with his failures. A quote of Jung's is what I found most interesting: "The experience of the self is always a defeat for the ego." It reads on, "Only through such experiences, however, can true psychological growth occur: 'The widening of consciousness is at first upheaval and darkness, then a broadening out of man to the whole man.'" - The Inner World of Abraham Lincoln by Michael Burlingame.
Humility requires a cost, but so does pride. However, in humility we see so much more and ultimately become far happier. I am also reading the Chronicles of Narnia-- annnd loving it! Just saying.. Anyway, in book four, Prince Caspian, after winning a battle to rightfully claim his throne back from his evil uncle, King Miraz, Caspain appears before the awed and feared Aslan. Aslan asks Caspian if he feels himself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia. Caspain answers "I- I don't think I do, Sir." Aslan answers, "Good. If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been proof that you were not." Aslan then names him King of Narnia.
Simply stated, slowly I am being persuaded to take my gaze off of myself. I am able to see that there are many people who experience pain, loss, and face things in life they never dreamt of. I am NOT the only one. As a matter of fact, when I look at what some must face, I feel spared; blessed even. It is hard being so young, naive and blindingly egocentric. We tend to think we know everything when the truth is, the more you realize you don't know, the wiser you are becoming!
